Love and affairs: What unites unfaithful spouses

Journalist Mel Fallowfield, 52, decided to investigate the habits of cheaters firsthand and discovered an unexpected common thread: most of them still love their partners and seek affairs purely for the thrill, reports The Sun.

Fallowfield registered on Illicit Encounters, a dating site launched in 2003 for married adults seeking secret romances. The platform has 1.5 million users, and according to the journalist, activity peaks in September, after summer—when couples often face heightened relationship tension.

“Curious about the statistics and with my husband’s approval, I created a ‘fake’ profile to understand who is drawn to this site and why men cheat,” Fallowfield wrote.

Despite keeping her profile minimal—stating she was “playful” and interested in politics and current events—she received about 30 messages within half an hour.

Most men on the site were looking for “stolen moments of fun,” complained about emotional gaps in their marriages, but insisted they didn’t want to destroy their family life and still loved their wives.

“90% of the profiles explicitly stated that the men did not want to ruin their marriage—and all of them adored their spouses,” the journalist noted.

Examples from Fallowfield’s experience confirm the paradox: one 62-year-old father of two adult daughters sought “casual sex” without upsetting his marriage’s status quo; another, 52, with a 12-year-old child, admitted he still loved his wife but missed physical intimacy.

Fallowfield concluded that cheaters vary widely in age, social status, and lifestyle, but all share a love for their spouses.

Expert in uncovering infidelity Madeline Smith adds that telltale signs of cheating include secretive phones, partners missing from photos, and use of Snapchat, an app that deletes messages after viewing, making it convenient for discreet communication.