Love Without Sex: Indian Couple Reveals How Celibacy Strengthened Their Marriage

For the majority of couples, physical intimacy is the foundation of a relationship, and rightfully so. Sex brings people closer, helps strengthen emotional bonds, allows partners to be vulnerable with one another, and, ultimately, brings pleasure. However, an active intimate life is by no means a mandatory requirement for every union.

Sanchari and Niranjan Sajith, founders of the Soulgrow Zen Academy, shared a deeply personal revelation on their Instagram account: they have been practicing "conscious celibacy" (intentional abstinence) for the past five years. Although many people find this lifestyle difficult to comprehend, the spouses maintain that they are absolutely happy in their marriage.

From Spiritual Practice to a Conscious Choice

"We have been together for five years. And for all these five years, we have consciously practiced celibacy," the couple openly stated in their post.

People around them unanimously insisted that such a relationship format was doomed to fail. Yet Sanchari and Niranjan are confident that their marriage is the happiest in the world.

"Initially, conscious abstinence began as a spiritual practice (sadhana) for the sake of healing and inner growth. But over time, it became our shared, conscious choice," they noted.

Why Did the Couple Give Up Sex?

Each of them had their own reasons. Sanchari admitted that at the time they met, she was recovering from past sexual assault, domestic abuse, and an incredibly painful breakup. "During that period, physical intimacy simply did not associate with safety for me."

Niranjan, for his part, practiced abstinence as an element of strict self-discipline, a method of self-discovery, and a tool for spiritual focus. Interestingly, when they first met, neither of them was looking for a serious relationship at all.

When their paths crossed, they were plagued by the same question: could anyone truly understand their specific way of life? However, their communication quickly blossomed into trust, which then transformed into deep love.

"For the first time in our lives, we felt absolutely safe next to another human being."

The couple built their love story not around the bedroom, but around late-night conversations, traveling together, long walks, creativity, shared dreams, spiritual practices, and the ability to be a safe harbor for one another. While most couples direct their creative energy into building a traditional family, Sanchari and Niranjan focused on art, community building, business, and charity.

Coping with Desire and the Question of Children

"Intimacy hasn't disappeared from our relationship anywhere. It is simply expressed differently," the couple explains.

Sanchari adds that she has experience from past relationships with a standard sex life, but she prefers the current format much more. "I don't feel deprived. On the contrary, I feel emotionally fulfilled."

For Niranjan, Sanchari became his first girlfriend, and he considers this relationship a blessing. "Right now, his main priorities are our shared life mission, discipline, creativity, and global goals."

At the same time, the spouses honestly admit that they are regular human beings and, just like everyone else, experience physical attraction. However, they do not treat every hormonal urge as an "emergency" requiring immediate gratification. Instead, they successfully transform (sublimate) this energy into creativity, sports, meditation, prayers, and strengthening their mental connection.

When it comes to procreation, the couple made another radical choice.

"We have consciously decided not to have biological children. Perhaps later—in about 10 or 11 years—adoption will become a part of our story."

"The essence of our manifesto is not about celibacy itself, but about the right to make a conscious choice. This path is certainly not for everyone. But for us, it turned out to be the only right one. Five years later, we remain best friends, continue to build our shared business, and choose each other again every single day," Sanchari and Niranjan summarized.