Lauren Harkins, 35, from Maine, has never had sex and has never been on a date — and she’s unapologetic about it. In an open conversation about her life, she’s confronting stereotypes and online teasing about her virginity.
“I’ve never felt ashamed of being a virgin or having limited sexual experience, and I’ve always been honest about it — even as a teenager,” Harkins told What’s The Jam. “For me, intimacy has always been meaningful, not something you do just to ‘keep up’ with others.”
On social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok, Harkins often encounters comments claiming she “doesn’t act like a virgin.” She explains that she doesn’t fit the stereotypical image of a shy or socially awkward woman.
“Any public platform comes with negativity,” she says. “Criticism usually falls into predictable categories — accusations of lying, being outdated, seeking attention, narcissism, and so on. These days, it doesn’t bother me.”
Contrary to assumptions, Harkins is not highly religious or “saving herself” for marriage. “I value committed, harmonious, long-term relationships — not traditions for the sake of tradition,” she explains. “I’m not the hyper-traditional image people try to impose, but I’m also not the modern woman who pursues casual flings or open relationships.”
Only in recent years has she become more open to romance. She notes that as a teenager and in her early twenties, she simply wasn’t ready. “Now, I’m approaching that readiness consciously, and there’s nothing shameful about that — it’s deliberate,” she says.
“I’m waiting for the right connection, not settling for the first option. You’ll never catch me compromising out of fear or desperation,” Harkins adds.
“I’m living life on my own terms — and I love it.”
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