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3.5 Times a Week: Scientists Calculate the Ideal "Sex Quota" for Couples in Love

23:01, July 30

It seems logical: the deeper the love, the more frequent the sex. However, science reveals that in reality, things work quite differently.

Common wisdom holds that couples having the most sex are the most deeply in love. Yet, a new scientific review dismantles this popular myth.

The study, published in the journal Current Sexual Health Reports, confirms that being in the early stages of romantic love is indeed linked to a more active sex life. Young people in love have sex an average of about 3.5 times per week (by comparison, the average for married couples stands at 1 time per week).

However, the intensity of that feeling—how intrusive thoughts about the partner are, how deep the emotions run, and how strong the commitment is—has no bearing whatsoever on how often a couple ends up in bed.

Passion Doesn't Predict Frequency

"Surprisingly, scientists have rarely investigated the frequency of sex among people experiencing romantic love," commented Adam Bode, a researcher from the University of Melbourne who led the study.

Bode drew on data from the Romantic Love Survey 2022—the world's largest open-access database on romantic love, encompassing over 1,500 young adults across 33 countries.

Brain imaging data cited in the review also indicates that as relationships approach the one-year mark, sexual frequency inevitably declines—even if the emotional intensity of the feelings remains at its peak.

Four Types of Lovers: Who Hits the Sheets Most Often?

As part of the study, researchers conducted a cluster analysis and identified four distinct categories of lovers: Moderate, Average, Intense, and Hypersexual.

The most fascinating finding involves the "Intense" group. These individuals demonstrated the deepest feelings, the highest level of intrusive thoughts about their partner, and maximum fidelity—yet they were far from leading the pack in sexual frequency.

That title went to the "Hypersexual" category, who reported having sex an average of nearly 10 times a week. This group was characterized by high energy levels, openness to new experiences, and a passion for travel.

Surprisingly, the hypersexual group also contained the highest proportion of individuals taking SSRI antidepressants. This came as an unexpected twist for the authors, given that such medications typically suppress libido. Researchers hypothesized that the hormonal surge of early-stage romantic love might be powerful enough to override even this pharmacological side effect.

The Sexual Recession

These findings emerge against the backdrop of a broader societal "sexual recession":

  • General Population Drop: In 1990, 55% of people reported having sex at least once a week. By 2024, that figure had tumbled to 37%.

  • Married Couples Decline: Among married couples, the share of those having regular weekly sex dropped from 59% (between 1996 and 2008) to 49% in 2024.

Falling in love still serves as a solid buffer against this global slump—but just how deeply you've fallen seems to have zero correlation with the numbers in the bedroom.

Study author Adam Bode didn't hide his own astonishment: "Honestly, I was a bit surprised that the average frequency of sex among young people in love was so low. Speaking from my own experience when I was young and in love, I had that much sex every day. So, I guess I was just an exception to the rule."


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