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The Sex Toy That Broke the Chess World: How a Ridiculous Meme Became the Scandal of the Century and How It Ended”

19:29, June 1

This story began as one of the greatest sensations in the ancient game of chess, only to spiral into the most absurd farce of the internet era. In September 2022, the greatest grandmaster of the millennium, Magnus Carlsen, ended his unprecedented 53-game winning streak after losing to 19-year-old underdog Hans Niemann. What followed would permanently change the world of chess.

Writer Ben Mezrich documents these events in his book “Checkmate: The Grandmasters, Lies, Ambition and the Biggest Scandal in Chess”, reconstructing the controversy and its disturbing consequences, according to The Post.

David vs. Goliath and the rise of a gum-chewing prodigy

At the Sinquefield Cup in St. Louis, 32-year-old world champion Magnus Carlsen, with the highest Elo rating in history, faced Hans Niemann—a brash teenager from San Francisco who entered the tournament at the last minute as a replacement.

Carlsen tried to unsettle him with an unconventional opening. But Niemann, casually chewing gum and staring blankly at the ceiling, countered every move. On move 42, his knight evaded an attack in a way only a handful of players on the planet could manage. On move 48, he capitalized on a rare mistake from Carlsen. After 57 moves, Magnus resigned. The hall fell silent.

“2860 rating versus 2650. White against black. World number one against number forty. It seemed unreal,” Mezrich writes.

Carlsen stood up, left the hall, and—according to the book—told his father at the door: “That guy was cheating.” There was no proof, but the champion’s intuition screamed foul play: Niemann seemed to play almost perfectly while barely looking at the board.

The absurd internet storm: anal beads and viral chaos

Niemann already had a reputation as a “bad boy” with a suspiciously rapid rating rise. Chess.com had previously caught him cheating in online games and quietly banned him (something he later admitted). But over-the-board evidence was absent. Niemann denied everything and even claimed he would “strip naked” to prove his honesty.

Then the internet intervened.

A Liverpool railway worker named Steve Smith, bored on Reddit, joked about possible cheating methods. He dismissed ideas like a prostate massager as too boring and instead posted: “I am absolutely obsessed with the idea that Hans Niemann cheated using wireless anal beads that vibrated to signal the correct moves.”

The post went viral instantly. British tabloids picked it up, then American media, and finally Elon Musk amplified it to his millions of followers, jokingly paraphrasing Schopenhauer in a now-infamous tweet.

The scandal went global. “Without the anal beads theory, the story would have died in days,” Mezrich notes.

Lawsuits, bans, and a fractured chess world

Behind the jokes, real consequences unfolded. Chess.com released a 72-page report suggesting Niemann had likely cheated in more than 100 online games, though they could not prove cheating in his game against Carlsen.

In October 2022, Niemann filed a $100 million defamation lawsuit against Carlsen and Chess.com. The case was dismissed, but a confidential settlement was reached in 2023. Niemann’s account was restored, though the terms remain undisclosed.

However, the chess world largely ostracized him:

  • At one tournament, a grandmaster allegedly broke the crown off Niemann’s king mid-game and challenged him to “settle it in the restroom.”
  • At an event in Austria, Norwegian grandmaster Aryan Tari led chants of “Jukse Hans” (“Cheater Hans”), which spread through the crowd, followed by threats sent to Niemann’s phone.

The ending: Paris and the chip in the brain

The book concludes in Paris at a speed chess championship, where Carlsen and Niemann meet again. Carlsen defeats him decisively. Humiliated, Niemann walks alone through the night near the Louvre, facing an uncertain future.

But the story shifts to something more unsettling: Neuralink.

In the final scene, Nolan Arbaugh—a paralyzed man with a brain implant developed by Elon Musk’s Neuralink—enters the hall in a wheelchair. Using only his thoughts, he moves pieces on a virtual board.

The audience erupts in applause. Carlsen watches and realizes: the human behind the chip may soon be irrelevant. The machine itself could play better than any grandmaster.

And against that kind of “cheating,” no metal detector in the world could ever help.


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