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“Duty Sex”: Scientists Reveal Why People Agree to Intimacy When They’re Not in the Mood

23:01, November 4

Men and women are equally likely to have sex when they do not particularly want to, simply to keep their partner happy and maintain the relationship. According to a new study, the biggest motivation is fear of infidelity.

Researchers set out to understand why people agree to intimacy not out of personal desire, but out of a sense of obligation. The phenomenon is known as duty sex.

Previous studies have linked this behavior to a desire to preserve a relationship, avoid hurting a partner’s feelings, prevent arguments or stop a breakup. But the authors of a new study, published in the journal Evolutionary Psychology, decided to examine the phenomenon from an evolutionary perspective.

The study involved 252 people aged 18 to 24 — 176 women and 76 men. Participants were asked about their sex lives and relationships, as well as how often they were willing to have sex to preserve their relationship.

The findings revealed that the strongest motivation was fear that a partner might cheat. Concerns about infidelity outweighed other factors associated with having sex out of obligation. Men and women were equally likely to engage in this behavior.

According to the researchers, having sex without desire may serve as an instinctive way of keeping a partner close and reducing the risk of being abandoned. They suggest that such a strategy may have had evolutionary significance.

Interestingly, the length of a relationship had no effect on how often people engaged in duty sex. The researchers also found no gender differences, despite the widespread assumption that men generally have a stronger sex drive.

The study has several limitations. Its findings are based on participants’ self-reported answers, the sample was relatively small, and most respondents were young people in the early stages of their relationships. As a result, the findings should not automatically be applied to all couples.

The researchers emphasize that duty sex may be more than simply giving in to a partner’s wishes — it may also be a response to the fear of losing a relationship.


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