News from the "achievements you didn't ask for" category: an optimized vagina has officially become a new status symbol among the rich and famous. If your immediate reaction is, "What nonsense," the following information will only reinforce that thought.
In a display of truly bizarre oversharing, tech entrepreneur and biohacking fanatic Bryan Johnson—obsessed with the idea of living forever—announced to his 1.8 million followers on X that a recent test proved his girlfriend Kate Tolo's vagina ranks in the elite "top 1%." This was followed by a rather explicit admission (apologies if this makes you choke on your morning muesli): the reward for such high scores was oral sex. From him, the Daily Mail reports.
From aesthetics to health and wellness
Of course, "designer vaginas" are far from a new phenomenon. The mid-2000s saw a massive boom in labiaplasty and rejuvenation procedures, but back then the focus shifted entirely to aesthetics and meeting unrealistic (and frankly male-gaze) ideals pushed by the adult industry.
By 2026, intimate health care has transitioned under the umbrella of wellness. Not long ago, The Times reported on American gynecologist Dr. Sally Greenwald, who jokingly refers to her wealthy clientele (whose bills run into the tens of thousands of dollars) as the "Billionaires’ Vagina Club."
Fortunately, unlike in the past, Dr. Greenwald's patients are utilizing her services strictly for themselves. Their "wishlist" includes:
a healthy sex life with enhanced libido and orgasms;
a reduction in slackness, discomfort, dryness, irritation, and susceptibility to infections.
Modern women are no longer willing to accept that childbirth, menopause, and aging doom them to lifelong discomfort.
The flip side of the trend
As usual, there are pros and cons. The downside is that an entire industry instantly crops up around women's doubts and insecurities, ready to sell us things we don't need, things that don't work, or, in the worst case, things that pose a hazard. The notion of the "status vagina" risks becoming yet another tool of pressure against women (a vivid example being laser "bleaching," intended to make the skin lighter and pinker).
Nevertheless, open discussion of intimate health helps break down stigmas, stimulates medical innovation, and improves quality of life. Amid heightened attention to menopause, the market has seen a surge of products to combat dryness, and the study of the vaginal microbiome opens up entirely new horizons.
Tried and tested procedures: The author's personal experience
Daily Mail journalist Rosie Green shared her own methods for combating age-related changes and intimate health issues that actually delivered results:
Estrogen pessaries (Vagifem)
What it's for: Combating stress incontinence and frequent urinary tract infections (UTIs).
How it works: A targeted dose of estrogen strengthens vaginal tissues, reducing dryness and irritation. "It helps. A lot," notes the author.
Emsella chair
What it's for: Treating stress incontinence with the pleasant bonus of muscle toning.
How it works: You sit fully clothed in a special chair for half an hour while the device generates electrical impulses equivalent to 11,000 Kegel exercises.
Cost: From £59 per session (more expensive in London). The effect is temporary (lasted about half a year, symptoms halved), but the method is effective.
Urethral bulking (urethral gel injection)
What it's for: A radical reduction in the symptoms of stress incontinence.
How it works: Under general anesthesia, a water-based gel is injected into the urethral walls to narrow the bladder neck. Recovery took a month (no sports or sex), but the result has held up for two years (the effect is designed to last 2 to 7 years).
Emfemme 360
What it's for: Combating laxity, dryness, and incontinence.
How it works: An applicator tip gently heats the vaginal walls to 41 degrees Celsius, stimulating the production of new collagen. The procedure is painless and takes only 8 minutes. A course of three sessions is required for maximum effect (starting at £1,500).
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